“I never lie…At least not to those I don’t love.” – Anne Rice in “The Vampire Lestat”

So I went to the movies with my dad. The movie we saw was a genre of privacy invasion porn. It’s about friends playing a party game. The rules are: you have to unlock your phone and put it on a tray with the other phones; if a text message, app notification, or email pops up everybody gets to read it, if a call comes in everybody gets to listen to the conversation via speakerphone. A married guy got a call from his mistress about her pregnancy. Another married guy received sexy selfies from his girlfriend. Boob enhancement appointment. BDSM gear shipment. You get the idea.

I asked my dad if he would be ok playing a game like that? He said no no no no no. Makes you wonder if he got something to hide. He doesn’t seem like the type, but you never know. His secret is probably not that exciting. Gambling addiction, most likely. But that’s ok. I totally get it. If I went to a board game night or book club or family dinner or something and people suggested this game, I would probably crap my pants.

People struggle with “reconciling” the secret life with faith and feelings of guilt. Secrecy, by definition, involves deception. Loved ones might ask these questions: Why didn’t you answer the phone? Did you get my text? What were you busy with and who were you with? Why do you have to leave now? Who are you meeting?

I think withholding the whole truth is ok if it’s done for love. Superman. Daredevil. Spiderman. These superheroes continually hide their secret lives from friends and family. They have taught me that protecting loved ones from emotional harm overrides the duty of telling them the whole truth. I think you just have to live with it: the paranoia, the guilt, but also the excitement of secrets. If you are careful, you can do it without hurting anyone. It’s also about the thrill of getting away with it. Always. Every. Single. Time:)